Saturday, 5 September 2015

2015 x 259/365

Time Check: 0906h

Up early for the past two days because.. well, my body clock has adjusted itself automatically to this timing given the fact that I woke up at an unearthly timing for work every single day last week. 

Past week had been so hectic and (at times) frustrating that my mind has this urge of penning all those thoughts down before I am ready to "close this chapter" and get ready for school. It's also because these thoughts have been haunting me since Day 01 and I can't seem to feel the balance in my mind. 

In the past one week, I've seen the ugly side of humans in terms of, primarily, characters. There were people whom I felt so speechless and baffled whenever I spoke to them or even, did things for them because it's my job, it's my responsibility. 

Is it because of their monetary riches that they have this character in them to 'bully' whoever they wish? Or is it because we aren't on the same par hence that kind of treatment? But they probably forgot that at the end of the day, we are all humans. All humans who require the SAME basic necessities like oxygen, food & water. Sometimes I tell myself to let it go or not take it personally because it's only work but at times, I do feel upset - not because I was "treated unfairly" but because I feel so dejected.. for them. They reminded me not to behave this way and treat everyone with the minimal respect which everyone as humans should deserve. Good VS Evil.

Then again, I'm so thankful for the lovely people who were around to make my life/ job easier to manage. I truly appreciate those smiles and "thank you" because they kept me sane - at least for the past week.

There were also people who were all talks but getting nothing done. I don't know if I'm that kind of person too. Talk is cheap. I don't understand why he would ever tell me this. Apparently my eyes & legs decided to reply him by rolling and walking away respectively. I'm completely perplexed when he told me that and what's the best part? He said it in such a tone that he's 201% correct. WOW. Up till today, I still cannot believe it & hell no, I disagree with your mindset - you can sit there for all you want and wait for things to happen then. Such double face. You shall wait. 

People with anger management issues. I'm not saying that I have zero temper because I am probably the most hot-headed and impatient amongst all my friends but I don't understand why a person would want to punch the other over the most trivial matter.  Maybe I don't understand what they've been going through to even have that thought, maybe it's a big deal to them or maybe it's the way they handle the situations or to solve the problems. No matter what, to punch another person, I think it's juvenile. On a selfish note, I'm kind of glad it happened because it's also with this that I learnt something new. 

"Political" issues made me feel that this society is realistic and money will always take the first priority. Though i don't deny that i work for money, I can't help but to feel a tad bit guilty (subconsciously). Then again, who am i to lie to if i say negative?

And with everything that happened for the past 120 hours, it made me realize that I'm such a lousy & under qualified person. It made me reflect what I've done wrong and reminded myself NOT to repeat the same mistakes ever again because if there were a second time, it's not an innocent mistake.

There were a couple of times when I regretted my decision which i made a month ago but all's good at the end of the day because it is an enriching learning experience which the school cannot provide. 

I've seen the most genuine smiles, heard the most sincere "thank you" and had the most loveliest colleagues one could ever ask for. 

With this, I'm thankful for everything, good & bad. 

Back to school.
Till next project x

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