Thursday, 21 August 2014

233/365


Thoughts about school. Can't imagine i left Ngee Ann five months back and have not touched any books ever since then. Where did all the time go to? Just a couple of months back, i was feeling like my life was in a turmoil, i felt like giving up everything then. It was so tough then, negativity was so evil. Now, of course it doesn't mean that my life is perfect but at least, I feel that everything is on the right track. And i'm truly thankful.

Oh welll, survived Week #2 of school and boy, am I glad! I wouldn't say school's tough nor assignments are piling up but it's been really draining, especially with the early morning classes (well, i do have to remember that school wasn't in my dictionary for the past five months.) Nevertheless, university life has been pretty smooth thus far. Similar and yet different from poly. (I miss Ngee Ann and the familiarity everywhere I go) Most of the time, I don't catch anything the prof talked about yet writing notes in my best handwriting so that I can do some revision and -hopefully- understand a little. English Literature is never my thing, hahaha but i do hope it'll be 'something' by 2018 (that is if i ever survive till then). 
But i do love my elective! (:

Hall stay has been boring. I checked in to the room at the beginning of August and only stayed over this week (wasted half a month of rental). Speaking of hall, i feel so blessed. Papa and Mom helped me so much with the moving in. They are so supportive when I told them I wanted to experience hall life despite staying quite near to school. (Of course it didn't turn out well so far, I feel like going back home everyday, haha) On a side note, I feel so warm and fuzzy when Papa told me that I can just return home whenever I wish and not worry about wasting rental fee /touched/. He even allowed me to stay for one semester so that I can just treat it as a convenience if i have classes at 930AM and long breaks so that I can take a short nap or shower to freshen up. Really really touched. I do wish I would do him proud in time to come. 

Looking forward to the mini getaway with the clique really soon and hopefully another one in December x 

Aside from school, I've come to a realization (and every bothered by that) that nobody would give a damn to others' feelings, not even close friends. Of course it might not apply to everyone but at least, to me. I used to think I found that person, to hear me out, to lend me a listening ear and vice versa.
But unfortunately, no it's not the truth. Because..
Others 0 - Self 1
Our own problems will always be the top priority, and that's quite saddening. I do wonder if friends are around so that we can pour our sorrows and unhappiness to them and not care about their problems? So what happened to those people whom have so much to say yet can't find anyone to turn to? Everyone is selfish (that include myself) and i don't blame anyone. It's true to a certain extent that everyone, even myself, will always want to be heard and want people to listen to them, to their stories. It's not something wrong, it's not a mistake, it's just a sad truth. Whenever you want to say something, the other party will always change subject, back to himself or herself. When will you be heard? When will I be heard? They said you don't need a 100 friends but only need 1 who will be there. But now, really? Will there be such a friend?


 There's a saying goes, people who always laugh, are the saddest people. 



You have every right to feel sad and depressed but please, your story is never the saddest, stop being ridiculously depressed for the smallest reason. 



x



No comments:

Post a Comment