Friday, 9 August 2013

The Journey @ The Best Address ♥

With August 2013, I can proudly announce that I've ended my 22-weeks internship!! :D
I cannot emphasize on how time REALLY REALLY flies. My "official" last day was last Friday and I woke up the next day, thinking what i have done for the past half a year. Anyway, I've been doing PT on Tuesday & Wednesday so technically, it's my last day two days back. hahaha wtf.

This journey has, no doubt, been a fulfilling and memorable one. It wasn't a bed of roses (nothing in life, is) nor was it smooth-sailing. BUT I'm thankful for all the opportunities given, for all the mistakes made, for all the people I've known.

*insert video of self 17 years ago* 
hahaha, i know this is random~ and that's my granddaddy :D

Now let this story begins.. 

I rmb I got the call for an interview in December, and I was in JB that day. (awed by my memory wth) When the HR coordinator mentioned the name of company, i thought "crap, where is that, why not so famous etc" Apparently, it's just me who don't know this company. So i went for my interview and waited for the news. It works just like the usual working society where the boss will call u if you're hired. So, i was praying hard that they'll call BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA LOSE FACE. hahaha typical ego. In the midst of waiting, i went to another company for the interview and thought I stood a good chance. True enough, they called that evening (or was it the next day.. tsk, still praising my memory earlier) and said all's successful. At the same time, wtf, the first company called and said the same thing. I asked pineapple if i can have the chance to choose but he rejected flatly, explaining to me the whole situation. Fair enough, I didn't argue. 

To be honest, i was looking forward to internship because I didn't have to study (bye bye, projects) and I could get monthly income as well. I thought, this could be a good break for school. So why not?? Anyway, it's mandatory so might as well look forward to it :) 

I started a week earlier than the rest. (not because i can't wait hor, it's just so that i can attach to the previous intern and learn from her.) I GOTTA ADMIT, first two weeks (or even, a month) was HELL. I was attached to her for my first 3 days and was left to defend for myself aftermath. I had SO MUCH to learn in such a short period of time. No, i'm not saying that there's no one i could ask, it's just embarrassing to keep asking and bothering others (ego at work again). With so much on hand, i definitely felt the stress. It was so hard. There were times when i felt like texting pineapple to say i'm giving up (i think i did draft the message, hahaha), i'm not ready for all this. I cried in the washroom, on the verge of breaking down, and even felt like dying. Yes, things got that bad. 

Worst thing, there's little margin for mistake for every mistake is expensive. I blamed myself for choosing this department and all the stress i've to go thru, as an intern. I went through everyday, thinking about my GPA. I told myself, this is the only chance to pull up my GPA and I shouldn't give up. GPA was my ultimate goal & motivation. Every week, i counted down the number of weeks I've left and secretly felt so happy that i'll be leaving this place soon. 

There were times when i felt so unfair and indignant. Why must i apologize if it's not my fault? Why must i be so accommodating? Why must i smile even if i don't like that person? Why? Whenever I feel unhappy and sad and i could turn to nobody, I wrote in my private livejournal. and one of the posts said "People say life is unfair but I've never felt so unfairly treated before. This internship really makes me feel like dying and end my life. Things are so sucky. You're going to leave so just bear with it." (no editing, it's word for word)

To be frank, i don't rmb why i wrote that, hahaha. I guess personal growth is what I've achieved the most out of these 22 weeks (more on that later) 
There's this period when i thought I've lost myself, being so fake. I smile because I've to, not because I'm happy. I no longer know myself and a few times, i asked myself "why are you doing this?" I forgot how to be truly happy. 
3 months passed and I've got through half the journey. I got to know more people and felt so much happier. At the very least, i know who i can turn to and who to trust. I realize that things aren't THAT bad and i should be more optimistic. I no longer count down, I learnt how to stand up for myself but yet being tactful. I don't feel the stress, I don't care about GPA. I see better days. 

*random selca again. haha*

I no longer dread going to work. I fell in love with Boost Juice X Mango Magic. I felt happier, truly happier.
Can someone open an outlet in BP or NP please!!

Soon, it was closer to the end of this journey. I realized that time passed faster when I'm not counting down. I did have the thoughts of extending. Ironic much? It was me who can't wait to leave and me, yet again, who can't bear to.

One of the last time wearing my blazer~
(till school starts in October)

It was my final presentation last Monday and gosh, i was feeling the jitters before my turn! It's been 6 months since i last presented and SOLO somemore~ I suppose it's kinda comforting to see familiar lecturers rather than strangers :/ Boy, was i glad that all went well (:

I guess this journey taught me a lot personally rather than skills. Anyone can learn the skills but the lessons I've brought back is priceless. Especially, the friendships. Being a late freak, i'm rarely late for work (first achievement ahaha). Apologizing is FREE so saying "sorry" won't harm. ﺕ This is the place which pushed me out of my comfort zone, made me know myself so much more. I gotta admit that even in school, I am very much pampered. Here, in an unfamiliar yet familiar place, it's all 'bout independence. This is something which I'm thankful for. :) 

Despite all the shitty things, i got to say that the people ARE really nice. (ok, not all but majority) I can't use any words to describe how nice they can be (NOT sarcastic) Asking for help is as easy as 1 2 3. Talking to them like old friends, having small lil talks along the corridor & sharing gossips ;) Sometimes, it's the little things in life which i'm grateful for xx

Other than my beloved family whom i can't be more thankful for, I really wanna thank pineapple. In this whole roller-coaster ride, he's the one who told me to be strong, who told me that i can do it. I rmb bugging him about the outcome of interview and ranting to him at Toast box. Thank you for choosing this place for me, rejecting my option to choose if not i wouldn't end up at the best address. Thank you for everything including your sarcasm. ;) 

Now that it has all ended, i do feel a little sad.. It's been 6 months and i have very much gotten used to that place, all the people i see everyday~ I suppose we've to move on? It's not the end but a new beginning ﺕ

With this, i'm closing this chapter of my 3 years in poly and looking forward to the study trip in September xoxo

Thank you for everything

-Never ever give up :)

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